ARE YOU GETTING WHAT YOU EXPECTED?

Should I lower or raise my expectations?

Decades-long research about relationships, shows that people get what they expect!

People with low expectations tend to be in relationships where they are treated poorly, and people with high expectations tend to be in relationships where they are treated well. So, what is reasonable to expect in a relationship? 

You should expect to be treated with kindness, love, affection, and respect. You should expect your partner to be loyal. Expect to be good friends, to be able to trust one another; to be fully committed to one another; to have shared values; to honor each other’s dreams and to have a satisfying sex life. 

So, is there anything you shouldn’t you expect in a relationship? 

Obviously you should not tolerate emotional or physical abuse. Neither should you expect to solve "all" of the problems in your relationship? Partners tend to choose someone quite different to themselves and that's a set-up for tension. Even happily married couples argue and disagree. So don’t expect a problem-free relationship but work to manage conflict constructively, forgive hurts and find compromises that work for the good of the relationship. Conflict can be healthy when it leads to greater understanding.

Here's my advice: Don’t lower your expectations! By having high standards (and getting some coaching where appropriate), you’re far more likely to achieve the kind of relationship you want, rather than looking the other way and letting things slide.

Here's an opportunity to invite your partner on a meaningful "date!" A relationship workshop, where over lunch at a private table, you'll enjoy learning practical skills that will strengthen your relationship?

To secure your spot, call 415.407.7494 or text your registration payment to 415.801.3091 Marriage