Is Your Man Emotionally Intelligent?

A man who is growing in "Emotional Intelligence" is vital to a loving relationship and a lasting marriage... yet research tells us that only 35% of husbands are emotionally intelligent. Yikes!

It seems us guys are not all that savvy at understanding or navigating the emotional side of the opposite sex. You’ve probably read or heard about the book “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.” While this isn’t literally true, men and women often do feel alien to each other. 

This difference, starts in childhood. When boys play games, their focus is on winning. Their focus is not their emotions or the others who are playing. If one of the boys gets hurt, he gets ignored. After all, “the game must go on.” 

With girls, feelings are often the first priority. When a tearful girl says, “we’re not friends anymore,” the game stops and only starts again if the girls make up. The truth is that ‘girlish’ games offer far better preparation for marriage and family life because they focus on relationships.

Men can learn a lot from women... by leaning more into relational conversations rather than leaning away from the expression of feelings and emotions that often go along along with relational conversations. They say that husbands who are willing to glean emotional intelligence from their wives, will generally have happier marriages and are less likely to divorce

The emotionally intelligent husband is interested in exploring his wife’s feelings and emotions not just because he honors her, cares for her, loves and respects her but because he wants to learn how to better connect with her. What makes a woman feel bonded to a man is when he takes the time to listen, respond and help her feel understood. 

While a husband may not express his emotions in the same way his wife does, he will learn how to better connect with her by turning off the football game and listen when she needs to talk. He will pick “we” over “me.” He will understand his wife’s inner world, continue to admire her, and communicate his respect by turning towards her. His relationship, sex life, and overall joy will be far greater than the man who lacks emotional intelligence. 

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